"The stories we don't own, own us"

"The stories we don't own, own us"

My story is that I am the primary carer of my husband’s 11yo affair child. Why primary carer?  Because in our household, playing to your strengths means that my husband works full time in a demanding corporate job while I work part time and take the lead role in caring for all of the children.  There are 4 of them aged 17, 15, 12 and the affair child, my step-son who just turned 11.

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What do other's do about the child?

What do other's do about the child?

The other morning on a breakfast radio station they were discussing children of affairs – a listener had asked the question whether she should tell her adult children that they have a half brother from their father’s affair many years ago.  This sparked a wave of people from all sides ringing up and sharing stories –  many of them about the positive relationships that had been forged with affair children either as children or later as adults.

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How to end an affair when there is (or is going to be) a child of the affair.

How to end an affair when there is (or is going to be) a child of the affair.

A question that comes up regularly from women whose husband’s have had affairs and the Affair Partner (AP) is either pregnant or has had a child of the affair is how can I be sure that the affair is really over?  The unfaithful husband has made a commitment back to the marriage but is still regularly seeing the Affair Partner because of the pregnancy or baby/child.  If this is your situation then the affair is not over.

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Decisions about the child

Decisions about the child

Recently a journalist from a major Australian Newspaper interviewed me for a story about children born of an affair.  The link to the article can be found here.   The story was syndicated on line across Australia and I have been really fascinated by the comments the article generated - both online and those people have sent to me privately.  They have ranged from supportive to down right disparaging - and so be it - you can't please all the people all the time.

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