What is your training and experience with working with couples?

I have been a social worker for over 25 years – for the first 15 years mostly working with individuals, families and communities. 

After recovering from the affair in my own relationship I decided that all I had learnt should not be wasted and in 2011 I shifted to focusing solely on working with couples in affair recovery (and I also occasionally work individually on affair recovery where the other partner is unable or unwilling to join in) and more broadly with couple’s in crisis.

I undertook extensive training and supervision in firstly Imago and then Gottman therapies and blend these to create a deep and rich perspective on relationships and how to help you move your to where you need to to be to be fulfilling and life giving. I have continually updated my skills with other approaches to working with couples.  Over the last 10 years I have completed in excess of 8000 hours of couples work.

In addition I love it – I love taking a relationship and working with the two people in that relationship to create something amazing.

What is your experience of working with couples where there has been an affair in their relationship, and they want to repair the relationship?

The majority of my work with couples over the last 10 years has been related to an affair (or affairs) – it is how I started in the work.  And having first hand experience of an affair in my own relationship I am calm and accepting of the pain – I just get it. 

An affair in a relationship is a relational trauma – a severing of the attachment that bonds the couple and I know that with help and both in the couple committing to the work that attachment – that sense that the other has your back - can be rebuilt and feel as safe as ever.

The state of the relationship does not cause the affair.  Individuals choose to have an affair and they happen in good and bad relationships.  But when they happen the original relationship, good or bad, has been blown up by the affair hand grenade and will need to be rebuilt.

I have helped 100’s of couples fully recover from the affair in their relationship and go on to create a relationship that is better than ever. If you are not sure what you want that’s fine – we start the work and see where it heads.   In my experience the only ones that don’t make it are those that don’t want to rebuild or don’t want to give up the affair relationship – that I can’t work with.

The work towards affair recovery is hard, it’s painful and at times can feel thankless and unrelenting but from the biggest pain can come the greatest gifts and I hang in there with you until those gifts become a reality.

What approach do you use or how exactly do you help?

I have developed my own affair recovery program that I have been using and strengthening since 2014 and has helped 100’s recover.  You can find my Blueprint for Affair Recovery HERE. 

My approach covers the work that needs to occur to be fully healed and we go at your pace learning skills and picking up tools along the way that will ensure recovery from the affair but also strengthen your relationship for the future.  The work starts in the very first session.

Does it work? 

YES!

Find out more Call me now or book an appointment…

I am based in Australia but work with couples all over the world via Zoom/Skype…