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All in My Story
It seems like a lifetime ago that I found out about my husband’s affair. Actually it was 5 years ago this week. 5 years that started in intense pain and are now full of much joy. And although there were many times in the early days when it all felt too hard and I wanted to give up, I do not regret a minute of the time that I spent rebuilding my marriage.
Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. Since finding out about the affair I have been kind of ambivalent about the significance of the day. Whilst I have not wanted to ditch it altogether, I haven’t really wanted to go all out in celebrations either. So in the last few years, we have more acknowledged it rather than celebrated it. My husband has taken his cues from me gently asking me this morning whether I wanted to do anything tonight. As I write this I am still undecided. It is not that I find the day in any way painful just that I haven’t thought through what it means to me in the new relationship we have now.
Brett’s affair lasted 3 years. At the time that it started we had been together for 19 years, married for 10 and had 3 children aged 5, 3 and a new born only about 2 months old at the start of the affair. He breaks the affair into distinct phases and the signs that I can now see in hindsight align with these phases and how he was feeling at the time. This is all about hindsight - at the time I can honestly say I really had no idea.
"Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods." C S Lewis I can still clearly recall the day back in late August 2008, when my husband, Brett told me he had had an affair. He calmly told me he had something he needed to tell me and then dropped the bomb that tore my world apart
