Going the Distance

Going the Distance

The affair recovery journey is a marathon, not a sprint and just like marathon runners need to be prepared for the task ahead, by fuelling up on the right foods and maintaining a healthy can do attitude, so do those of you running the Affair Recovery Marathon.

One of the best ways to “fuel up” is to focus on taking time each day to do something just for you.  This one is not optional even if it is only a small amount of time each day.  I know we are all busy and many of us have many demands on us that revolve around caring for others.  But we cannot properly care for others, and will not feel like we have enough fuel to keep going during this difficult marathon, if we do not properly care for ourselves as well.  It needs to be as inbuilt as eating or cleaning our teeth!

One of the hardest things in actually caring properly for ourselves and nourishing our body and soul on this affair recovery journey is that the pain can sometimes overwhelm you and make you not feel like doing any of it at all.  It is exactly the times when you don’t feel like it when you need to do it more than ever.  So pick something off your list – don’t feel or think too much about it and just do it and see what happens – mostly you will feel much better.  If you don’t you probably just need to do it for longer – your fuel level is lower.

So this week I asked my BAN group what were the nurturing things they did for themselves that provides their fuel for the journey.  Together they came up with such an amazing list I am sharing it here in the hope that you might find something that you could do too:

  • Knitting

  • Gym

  • Walking (in beautiful spaces)

  • Running

  • Any exercise…

  • Reading (books that aren’t about affairs)

  • Bubble baths

  • Aromatherapy – having nice smelling candles, incense, reeds and essences around the house

  • Taking minute vacations/practising mindfulness

  • notice the stars or the warm sun or a beautiful space

  • Patting and caring for the dog, cat, horse…

  • Studying for pleasure topics that are interesting

  • Park Run  www.parkrun.com there is probably one near you (or you could start one!)

  • Volunteering

  • Jigsaw puzzles

  • Gratitude journal

  • Learning new things and taking on new challenges (not too big so that they overwhelm) eg joining a circus skills class and taking to the trapeze.

  • Creating a visual diary of positive events that have occurred during the day

  • Laughing with those friends who always know how to bring you out of yourself

  • Hanging out with positive people

  • Sewing

  • Scrapbooking

  • Quilting

  • Gardening (especially when sunny)

  • Shopping

  • Meditating

  • Yoga

  • Pilates

  • Talk to others who allow them to tell and “get” their story

  • Work (as a diversion)

This list is not exhaustive – there were so many good ideas flying once they got going.  But I hope it will start you of to creating your own list and take the time, each and every day, to fuel up for your marathon.

Want the Relationship but Struggling with Accepting the Affair?

Want the Relationship but Struggling with Accepting the Affair?

2 Useful Tools for Healing

2 Useful Tools for Healing