All your friends thought you had it together until one of you did the unthinkable - had an affair. Now you want to move forward but are not sure how.
If you are the betrayed spouse
you are feeling pain like you have never felt before, everything you thought was safe in this world has been shattered. You don’t trust your partner – their actions, motives or words and wonder if you will ever be able to again. And you no longer trust yourself wondering how you could have been so blind or so naive. You feel like you are going crazy – thoughts fill your head as you try to make sense of something that makes no sense at all – how could they do this to you? But part of you blames yourself – you should have been more or done more or given more to prevent this from happening – the thoughts go round and round. The triggers come out of nowhere sending your pulse racing, it’s hard to catch your breath and you feel sick to the stomach. You are finding it hard to sleep but there are days when you struggle to get out of bed. You can’t think straight and you are finding it hard to get through the day.
And to the one who had the affair
your pain is also very real. You have done something you never thought you would do and don’t understand how you crossed that line, but you are also relieved that the truth is finally out and you can get out of the double life that was doing your head in. You know your actions have caused pain – you are reminded every time you see your partner’s face but you don’t know how to talk to them in a way they can hear you and you don’t know how to answer their questions. You are grateful you have been given a second chance but don’t really know how to make up for what you did. You desperately just want to put it all behind you and move on with your life.
You both feel very alone and helpless as to what to do now but you want it all to end somehow. You both wonder if you will ever feel happy again
You don’t have to live this pain anymore. It is possible to move past this and work together to find the connection and love that only comes from having gone through the tough times and made it. I know this is possible because I have been there and what I have learnt from my own affair recovery journey is that you can reclaim your sanity; you can draw on your inner strength and find the capacity to build the relationship and the life you want. You can rebuild the trust. You can learn how to really understand each other and you can forgive. You can feel whole again. I live this every day and help couples just like you to do it too.
The earlier you get help, the shorter your journey will be. I will guide you along the way, providing the tools and resources to get you to the place you want to be. I can’t tell you the journey will be easy but I can tell you I will give you what you need to navigate it safely step by step. What I provide has been proven to work. I draw on the best of the world’s leading experts in affair recovery and relationships and weave in my own experience - I make it real. Don’t wait another day to take that step towards healing yourself and your relationship.
"There is a crack, a crack in everything. It's how the light gets in." Leonard Cohen
Are you ready to commit to rebuilding your relationship?
I have a range of options for doing work as a couple depending upon where you are at in your Affair Journey.
Essentially I focus on rebuilding you and assisting you to overcome the Affair.
I see a relationship – married or not – like a patchwork quilt you start creating from the day you meet, where all the squares have been taken from different times throughout the years, with the quilt growing bigger as each year passes. Some of the squares are beautiful and some not so and others downright ugly but the whole tells a story of a love well lived. The ugly happened but over time as you focus on the beautiful, it fades into the background.
Rebuilding a relationship after an affair means you get to choose how the relationship will look. You get to say what you want to keep and what you would like to do differently. Nothing is taken for granted anymore – it is all up for grabs.
Research has shown that around 80% of couples strive to rebuild their relationships after an affair but receiving specialist help is the difference between staying together and settling for less than you deserve or living separate parallel lives and staying together and really creating the amazing relationship of your dreams.
Find the hope again - survive and thrive - don't sit with the pain or settle for something less because of the affair. Rebuild the relationship you always wanted. Open yourself up to an amazing life.